What is your experience with "why"?

Why do you ask? Sorry couldn't resist. For me its simple. Men protect their daughters because they know that many other men are arseholes. They either disrespect women as subservient or lesser or they have egos way beyond their capabilities. I am no longer shocked by the self centric shit men do to women, speaking as the man of this pair

Honestly, in my opinion you do not own anyone an explanation nor do you need to justify your “no”. It’s just a waste of time.
You were already being friendly by answering their mail in the first place.

Yep, same here, especially if men are older (this is just the number etc). Because of that I just stopped replying at all to messages that don't match my search criteria. If the message is interesting and polite, I would reply and explain my rejection. But mostly no

Interesting, just had one of those "Whys" last week.
Normally I just respond with the "Nein Danke" Button, which normally answers the Question.
Last week, I answered the Why Question, as he seemed a nice, reasonable person, my mistake!!!! His Profile just didnt fit what we were looking for. I always avoid using personal pronouns and respond with something impersonal. IN this case, it was his Profile, didnt fit. Got all grumpy and told me that I couldnt judge a person just by their Profile and we should meet people before judging. My response was that his Profile was his calling card and we get 5 to 10 requests a day for a Meeting/Date and it wasnt possible even if we were inclinded to do so. He didnt like that reality.
So I am back to the "Nein Danke" Button, which seems to be more effective and it does tell the truth.

If the person is absolutely not what I'm looking for, I don't reply. Experience taught me that many(!) can't accept a no and react with insults, etc. I reply to nice messages and profiles that fit my criteria but if you think it's too much work to read my profile, it's too much work for me to reply.

I did try to answer the same question and yes there is somehow a disproportionate response at times.
I also asked the same for curiosity one time, as profile looked very matching.
I did get that the user preferred long hair which was fair enough as I am shaven. Reason why I asked was genuinely to get a feedback on the profile, in case I could better it.
People can be insecure, but i believe that if you make the effort to answer should be appreciated.
unfortunately not everyone is mature and sure of themselves.

...some peoples simply don't overcome the "Why" phase of their early childhood...

Hey beautiful people,

it is so so interesting to hear about your experiences!!!!
Now and than there are some humans who write very funny or polite or even very specific to my profile that I feel the urge to reply despite the fact that they don’t fit my needs. And to avoid any counter questions or insults I immediately end the conversation.... I know that might not be the fine art but I don't have discussions about my gut feelings or wishes 🤷🏻‍♀️

you are only allowed to end discussions with 50 unless you have premium. What do you do on day 2? 😜

🤣😜 than I choose premium!!! Hm.... what do I do on day 2? I am not quite sure what you mean 🤔

A joke referring to women getting 50 offers a day.

Ahhhh 😅 50 á day is a loooooot.... wow! That’s quite something!

The circlejerk of people here with common, cliche "men are trash" analysis is cute. I'll offer a different perspective just to spice things up.

Do you honestly care about other people?

If so, do you believe that giving more feedback and information is helpful? Or is Ignorance truly bliss?

As one of those people who used to ask "why" before learning that people are too trash to actually help each other improve and subsequently stopping, I think the bunch of crybabies who dump on others being "toxic" for reacting emotionally to an emotional topic are the Real Toxic People.

I think silence and assuming malfeasance is much more toxic for culture as a whole than acting in good faith, helping where you can, and not letting one or two bad apples become the exemplars for believing that planting apples only leads to poison.

I wonder where all the mature, compassionate people went in the world?

Where are the people who understand that sometimes giving feedback like "your profile makes you seem kind of boring" or "I'm sorry, I just don't find you that physically attractive" might generate a spiteful response, but that doesn't mean you should be afraid of it?

Do words really hurt you more than sticks and stones?

Where are the people that have the integrity to be honest and forthright in case it is helpful, but also the dignity and courage to brave a childish insult rebuttal with grace?

Shouldn't we be the change we wish to see in the world?

I agree it's a cliche but unfortunately it's so damn true. I have seen couple girl mailboxes its stunning what they recieve.

I agree 1000% but as said the times they respond to a why that they get a rude response (and rude is a understatement) is about 95%

The problem is the dating platforms are infested with assholes those bad apples are at least 50%


No but constant bombardment of bad one do.

Those people apparently are not single.

perhaps if you read between the lines here this IS my attempt to enlighten people to not attack others who give them feedback when they ask.

I guess you may have missed that. 😁

Since I know that a lot of men just don't answer a polite and friendly mail at all, I just type a "no thank-you-answer" and right behind I press the "end-conversation-button".

That's because I often have this why question and when I try to answer the "why" the best thing that happens is that they don't accept my reasons, the worst that they insult me - for a simple explanation - no thanks ...

I have a similar experience. If I reply politely I get asked why, or worse, the man insists and tells me we should meet anyway after I’ve said no twice and I even got called names and physically criticized on one instance...
I was also insulted a couple times for not responding to messages. There is really no perfect solution...

There is one become a raging full-time slut and date them all 😗 🤭 😇.

If that's not a option then how much I hate it then just ignore it ah not interested is nice though I personally appreciate it since I do send 200 stalkinga every day 😉

Not everyone is a match.
I have had both couples and women get mad I tell them sorry we are not a mask.

People need to learn no means no.

Fierce_Lady 👍

There are so many things to say to this post but perveneficus covered it quite well. Once you have taken a look at a woman's inbox(es), really attempted to walk a mile in her shoes, you can't possibly understand why we have little patience. "1 or 2 bad apples"...that's a joke, right?!

Whatever. I'm sure you are not a bad apple, and neither am I

Whatever. I'm sure you are not a bad apple, and neither am I
And with regard to 'why'... That's always a good question. And it should always be followed to atleast the third level to really get to the point

Wow . What a post. It has certainly drawn out a few reactions from men. Some that can STILL not see why this is a form of bullying. Trying to exert their wish over that of the woman. Its no surprise, its why witches are called witches (check the history of witches related to bier brewing) its why Mary Magdalen was branded a prostitute, its why we have so many words for 'slut' related to women and nothing equivalent for men, and its why male pride cannot take a simple ' thanks but no thanks'. There are some on here explaining why they cannot handle a rejection and ' they thought ' something else. That's your problem not the women's. My own thoughts are that men become a bully or a pest or whatever you want to call it as they simply can't handle rejection. The very action of replying "why" when in black and white text , the advance is not wanted isn't about finding out what the woman wants , its simply trying to shame her thought process. I mean why wouldn't a woman want you? Well if you can't see the connection then god help us all.