Tell us about your Expansive Relationships

******ins Woman
21,885 Posts
Thread creator JOY-Team 
Tell us about your Expansive Relationships
Once we recognise love as separate from 'meeting needs', we are on our path to a better way of loving ourselves and others.

Of course there is a script for what we can expect from a relationship and what we are suppose to value about it. In this article Roy Graff talks about how to question these ideas. E is for Expansive Relationships
He names the criteria for what he calls an Expansive Relationship.

  • Now we are curious, how do you make your relationship work?
  • How do you communicate your needs?
  • How do you keep your boundaries intact?

*******n74 Woman
412 Posts
I'm clearly communicating boundaries with the first few communications before deciding to meet. This does not mean that I explicitly detail everything I plan to do when we meet. Rather, I explicitly detail exactly what my expectations are and what is not negotiable. This has been very effective on filtering the kind of man I want to meet vs those I don't have any interest in.
*********olate Woman
11 Posts
Good answer, Top queen!!!
******ado Man
13 Posts
Interesting topic, especially for me and my current situation. I've been in open relationships before, where my partners and I would get turned on by one another's "extracurricular activities". We'd talk about our last encounters with others during sex, and even call (or take calls) from others during intercourse. There's nothing hotter than hearing your partner arrange a date with her boyfriend while you're inside her. But that was then.

Now, I'm in a relationship that doesn't want to hear about anything else. Or at least, she doesn't mind if I tell her about fantasies, but she doesn't get turned on by them. She's really only interested in the sex she has with me, and anything else I do is just my own business. It's a shame, because I'd really prefer to share every detail, every fantasy, every turn-on with her. But if it isn't her thing, it isn't her thing.

So now I'm here, looking for others to help me explore and fulfill my fantasies.
*******brat Woman
387 Posts
I enjoy queerplatonic relationships, breaking up the expectations of what is only for "friendship" or "romantic partners". Why not live together or even raise children with friends? Why not share romance with someone without having sex? There is a lot to break down and we can not only expand on our friendships, we can also leave out, what we do not desire.
So I try to evaluate my close relationships based on the needs and desires we share but also keep an eye on what we don't share and how those needs can be met with others.
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