From a single male POV, couples can be complicated. I know a lot of couples that go to the clubs and I am friends with. But I haven’t crossed the line with them to intimacy. I have witnessed a lot of contradiction with some couples I know.
The issue is, I don’t know the couples agreement and its not so easy to get a true representation, because I go more by actions. When I see what I suspect is insecurity, I tend to put on the brakes quickly. I really do not want to be in the middle of a relationship and I am not a third wheel. I don’t have rules except respect. I will not go where I am not welcome nor invited and I will not engage where I am not attracted. Personality has as much to play as looks does. I prefer spontaneous and I think when you start engaging with multiple players, you can’t be spontaneous as it is harder to read the response to that spontaneity. With Couples you are going to not know where the lines are drawn.
I guess, what that means is, I probably am better suited to a group situation if I enter it with someone I am already connected to. And I am not into ownership, so I then don’t have to worry about lines or rules as the person I connect is free to do what she desires. As long as I am respected and vice versa, it works for me.
Bottom line is I need to connect. I am open to the group thing, but I am not going to be turned on if I am not connected, which means kissing, touch tease and all the senses going. If I am not at that point, sex is going to be disappointing and I can be more satisfied jerking off alone in my thoughts.
In terms of group experience, I have had a few offers, but have not gone there except for one situation. It was where a much younger girl (Latina) and I connected in the spa. While talking, she started moving onto another guy while looking at me and as he was massaging her shoulders from behind she started using first her feet then hands on my cock. I moved in and began kissing her and was entirely into it. The other guy did not bother me and it could have been two other guys for all I care. As long as she is enjoying the attention, why not? There was a mental and physical connection between us before it started.