Self spanking techniques

Tie a fish to your dogs tail and tell him he is a good boy .

It’s not really spanking but if I think I need punishing I take a walk through brambles I have and they piece nail as well as skin, although I once designed a whipping toy which was sprung and could be controlled remotely I’ve the phone lol

... there are supposedly 7 billion people on the planet so you shouldn't have to do that on your own. There must be someone around the corner from you. A frustrated bin collector, underworked math tutor, housewife when the kids are out of bounds, a hubby looking for an alternative to bubbling the same stuff over a pint of Tennent's, Put a post - it sticker in the nearest TESCO, SPAR, phone booth if there's one left etc. and you'll see: it'll do them good too, both the physical challenge and the close antisocial interaction...

In case that doesn't work:
Come here and I'll spank the living daylight out of you - until the arms fall off... promised!

simply take a whip or leather belt and scourge yourself by throwing it over your back, like the self-chastiser did in the "good ol' times " of the middle ages.
Or be DIY creative tying straps, ropes, etc. to a drill and put it in an electric screwdriver, mount it on the desk and stick ur ass out

I have a few subs who will use paddles, whips, and floggers on themselves if they are not flexible enough to give themselves a good Hand Spanking.