Dental dams are a serious matter. Real preventative measures. Lifesavers. Rubber heroes. I ventured on a personal experiment for a rather mundane reason: the relationship between my senses of smell and taste on one side, and vulvas on the other, is a delicate one. A first-hand account with the wafer-thin latex sheets.
By Alex Todorov
What a Sensitive Soul I Am!
Of course, I could simply take vulvas off the menu. If I don't like the taste, I don't eat it. The snag is, with the two partners whose intimate areas I found appealing, the act of licking aroused me. Properly. In a "seconds please!" and mouth-watering kind of way. As far as I could tell, lost in delightful intimate folds, the two partners seemed to be having a good to excellent time during my explorations. So abstaining is not an option.
My initial question, therefore, was: can dental dams also allow me this pleasure with those partners whose thighs I unfortunately have to close after an unfiltered tasting, annoyed by my sensitivity? What sounds misogynistic here is meant with exceptional affection and desire: I want it, and most women enjoy it just as much. If only it weren't for my olfactory queasiness. An dental dam sounded like a, well, thigh-opener to me.
What Do Dental Dams Protect Against?
If Only Michael Douglas Had Used Dental Dams!
The topic of "prevention & dental dams" should not be trivialised by my subjective sensitivity: dental dams can help more than just sensitive souls like me. In 2013, Michael Douglas caused quite a stir when he said in an interview with the Guardian about his throat cancer:
Douglas's statement gave the unfairly neglected dental dam an unexpected surge in popularity. A wafer-thin piece of material, about 15 by 25 centimetres, that can even save lives in some cases? Not bad.
Even in a monogamous relationship, there is a – albeit very low – risk of infection. The risk is higher with multiple partners. It's like childhood: everything that's fun is somehow forbidden.
Dental dams save lives – and hardly anyone uses them. The wafer-thin latex sheets, also known as dental dams, are placed on the anus (not anulingus!) or vulva during anilingus or cunnilingus. This protects against sexually transmitted infections.
Anyone who doesn't have a dental dam to hand can use an unlubricated condom. Cut off the tip, then cut it open lengthwise and finally hold it over the target area.
Only failed comedians use a dental dam during application. And those who also turn a condom inside out after use. If you switch from anilingus to cunnilingus or vice versa, please use a new dental dam.
Who Knew That...?
Dear friends of cunnilingus and anilingus: dental dams offer protection against all infections transmitted via menstrual blood, vaginal secretions, or intestinal bacteria . And these include, in addition to the aforementioned human papillomaviruses, all sorts of things, such as HIV, chlamydia, hepatitis A and B, and gonorrhoea. The risks are low compared to the danger from sexual intercourse, but they exist. Anyone considering switching from vaginas to penises in light of this prospect will – as so often with grand plans – be thwarted by the simple facts. Semen is also one of those nasty bodily fluids that transmit diseases.
Conversely, a dental dam protects the intimate area from pathogens from the mouth, for example, in the case of bleeding gums. It helps prevent cystitis, which can also be caused by oral bacteria. Should a woman also request her licking ration during menstruation, the cloths even prevent an iron overdose in the person licking.
Dental dams sound like a thoroughly fine thing – for everyone involved. Are they really? Well...
The Self-Experiment
How Do I Get My Hands on These Things?
Where do you get dental dams? First impulse: pop into the pharmacy downstairs. Behind the counter stands a bespectacled woman in her sixties. "Do you have any dental dams? I've got big plans for today." The idea of winking at her while saying this has already vanished. Her face reveals that the question hits a mental void. A brief pause later, she replies, "No. I'll have to check if we can order them." While she feeds her search database with "dental dams" using her index fingers, I interject, "You do have condoms. It's something similar, isn't it?" This remark triggers something in her face. To call it enlightenment would be too generous. But her understanding of what it is seems to take a more concrete form. Which doesn't help the fruitless first search. "Try oral dams," I say, and after a brief eye contact, I spell it out unprompted. "Nope, nothing there either, I'm afraid."
Given that dental dams protect against HIV and HPV, I had at least hoped for a slim search result in the pharmacy. The online search is more fruitful, logically, but not exactly overflowing. Many of the major erotic shops don't even stock them.
In addition to the neutral version, dental dams are available in various flavours. Even those with latex allergies are catered for. Theoretically. The reality is sparse. The dams simply lack lobbying. Which in turn is due to the lack of widespread knowledge about the risks. Few people associate oral sex with HIV. In this regard, even the confession of cunnilingus enthusiast Michael Douglas has had no lasting effect.
Ultimately, I buy two packs of four and two packs of two from two different suppliers at a large online retailer where I also bought the inflatable dolphin for my daughter. Crazy world.
Unboxing, or: How I Put a Dental Dam on My Face
Cost for both suppliers: about ten euros for four dental dams. One brand comes unfolded in a white, resealable (?) and high-quality bag that resembles a freezer bag. The other brand is folded into a small square in packaging that looks like a condom wrapper. Which nicely emphasises the medical aspect. And is also very practical because it – like a condom – fits in your trouser pocket.
What I immediately notice: the dental dam feels wonderfully soft on the hand. In a slightly fetishistic way, it exudes something comforting – like a security blanket for adults. It nestles against the skin and ignites my playfulness. The first thing I do after the brief feel test: I follow the logical impulse to put the dental dam on my face. A ticklish sensation. It feels delicate and silky, and it smells of strawberry. The other brand gives off a very subtle vanilla scent.
The dams from both suppliers are the same size, rectangular, unlubricated, tear-resistant, and can easily be stretched to double their length and width. The instructions for use – if you can call them that – don't say a word too much. Graphics have to suffice – and the recommendation from one supplier to apply "a little water-soluble lubricant to the back" to intensify the result. Right then.
The Test Subject Laughs – For Now
After a few detours, I soon found a willing participant. We know each other. The whole thing is a little suspicious to her, but her amused bewilderment loosens things up at the start. "I'm not yet convinced that this dental dam thing isn't a con." Me neither. But good to know that the con works. After a short warm-up, I get to work.
The test subject lies laughing on her back. I place the dental dam lengthwise on her vulva. Miraculously, the dam nestles against the contours of the target area as if it were gently suctioning itself on. For your information: the test subject is not completely shaved, but trimmed. This gives me the feeling that I'm not doing anything illegal. On hairless skin, the dental dam probably lies even more smoothly.
I crouch between her legs and look at the dental dam on the vulva – it looks like an operation preparation. A brief exploratory lick reveals: this won't work without holding it down. I remove the dam and, as recommended, apply water-soluble lubricant. It now adheres better. The test subject preferred it without. Too late. I dive in.
My First Licking Impression
The dental dam smells, but is tasteless. Two things I quickly notice: firstly, I am one of those people who, at least initially, licks with their eyes open – which means I base my actions on visual information. This results in me initially trying hard to orient myself through the milky-cloudy dental dam.
Secondly, I notice for the first time what my hands normally do while I lick: they grip on/under the thighs and/or buttocks and position the target area. This has to be omitted here. The licking thing wants to be held down.
Since anchoring it fails due to the test subject's veto, we agree that she holds the top end of the dental dam on her stomach and I am responsible for fixing the bottom end. Sharing responsibility brings us closer together. However, the occasional readjustment and tensioning of the dam, so that it doesn't disappear into the vagina, is my responsibility.
After a few minutes – during which the test subject's initial fits of laughter have subsided – a glance upwards reveals: the partner is looking concentrated and is obviously trying to feel the sensations. "Are you sure you're in the right place?" A question that catapults me back to torturous teenage hours. "Feels duller," she says. I agree.
My first unfiltered impression: it feels like what it is – plastic licking. With a strawberry scent. No skin, no foreign moisture, no smell. Slightly strange, but for me not really a problem, as that's exactly what I wanted. Reduced stimulation. Nevertheless, no comparison to those experiences with vulvas that I enjoyed licking. Because it is precisely the interplay of skin, moisture, and scent that ideally makes active oral sex so intense.
A Latex Bubble Swells in My Mouth
Cunnilingus is not just licking. In this selfless experiment and dental dam stress test, I try to bring my entire repertoire to the partner: gentle biting with the lips, broad pressure, thrusting, stiff lips, sucking. Everything works with minor limitations – until I suck and suddenly become aware of what I'm actually doing: a latex bubble swells in my mouth.
What about parallel fingering? Cumbersome, but doable. While I keep my left hand ready to retighten and hold the dam, the other hand reaches under it. I make sure to exemplary not touch the licking side of the dam with my playing fingers.
After some time, I get the hang of it – at least as far as handling the dental dam is concerned. It needs occasional variations in tension on the dam. To gain depth when thrusting with my tongue, I leave it looser than when licking, where it's important not to miss the small target areas and folds.
The partner is also doing better now. The concentration has given way to relaxation and arousal. She has angled her legs more, follows my rhythm with her pelvis, and is busy with one hand on her breasts. I tell myself that I can take this as a good sign.
Because things are going well, I want to try another position: 69, with me on the bottom. Is that practical? I massage a generous amount of lubricant onto the partner's intimate area and place a new dental dam on top. Fits perfectly, no air pockets. Arts and crafts for adults. She turns over onto me with the adhering dental dam. I have the target area in front of me – and zero orientation. I lick blindly. A desolate advance. No fun arises, the necessary tensioning of the dam quickly delivers the death blow to this attempt. Learn: always stop when it's most beautiful, young man!
Is the Dental Dam the Solution to My Problem?
As after every single time having sex, I now conduct a final evaluation discussion. Feedback is important. We agree – dental dams take some getting used to. The partner sums it up like this: "I perceive the sensations as muffled, the tongue touches are less precise and more superficial. With gross motor, somewhat more vigorous licking, the difference to unprotected oral sex is less noticeable. Having to hold it down with one hand was okay, I could imagine that holding it is more annoying for the active partner. Since oral sex is mostly foreplay rather than the main course, it's alright. Could have been worse." But also better.
Is the dental dam the solution to my problem? How wonderful would a simple "yes" be at this point! It is as follows: on the one hand, the use of the dental dam eliminates my sensitivity regarding the perception of smell and taste. On the other hand, a larger problem is replaced by a smaller one. It takes practice. Combining oral sex with holding and readjusting the dam is a small challenge. I gladly accept the slight latex taste. Is it an improvement for me? Yes, definitely.
The licking conclusion: despite the difficulties and irritations mentioned, we can both imagine establishing a routine where we use an dental dam with our respective partners. But...
Final Thoughts: How Would a Woman React to a Dental Dam?
The following question arose for me: how would a woman react if, during our first time together, I pulled out an dental dam? Hurt? Irritated? Would she see it as an indirect accusation? A question that leads to the core of the problem: the lack of knowledge. With condoms, the discussions about their use have long since subsided. The AIDS epidemic in the 1980s did a thorough job there.
Clearly, dental dams make the experience a bit more cumbersome and less genuine. Like condoms. They are not immediate. And that is precisely their purpose: to prevent infections and contagions. They are not contraceptive like condoms, but they are just as much a means of prevention. And they are not lying around in any swingers club I know of.
I find sex and oral sex more intense unprotected. Which I notice anew every time I have sex without a condom again. But isn't it short-sighted to forgo a tool that can prevent HPV and HIV infection because it doesn't feel real enough? Is its use, at least outside monogamous partnerships, too great a sacrifice? Before dental dams find widespread use, there needs to be an awareness of the risk. It is considerably lower with oral sex than with unprotected intercourse. But it is there.
PS: Since the self-experiment, I have new sandwich bags for my snacks. Real eye-catchers.
Dental dams (and condoms) do not offer comprehensive protection against HPV. Vaccinations are safer, but their high costs have to be mostly borne privately if you're over the age of 25.
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