P is for PeggingSensual and soothing

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Pegging does not have to be about anything other than pleasure. Sure, you could make it about a power dynamic or gender roles, but pegging can be sensual, and surprisingly soothing.

From Lara AKA Divine Theratrix

An online search for pegging videos will produce links to porn videos that are fetish-focussed. Words that come up in association with these videos are: Femdom; punish; slave; perverted; humiliated; rams; huge dildo; cuck; anal fuck; and submissive.

About the author

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Lara AKA Divine Theratrix is non-binary person who uses she and they pronouns. They are a qualified integrative therapist and have been working in the sex support industry since 2018. Lara has her own playspace in London where she conducts conscious kink sessions and playshops for folks who want to learn, heal, and have fun. She is particularly passionate about reframing kink and bdsm simply as forms of adult play rather than deviant behaviour.
Website: www.divinetheratrix.com
Instagram: @DivineTheratrix
Twitter: @DivineTheratrix
Joyclub profile: divine_theatrix

I love a bit of role-play that may or may not involve ramming huge things into orifices. However, I find gentle, sensual play incredibly erotic too (in fact this is my personal preference) and what I’d really love people to know, is that pegging can be super sensual, and even soothing.

Don't miss out on our Sensual Pegging Tutorial:

Whereas the top search results for pegging videos seem to suggest that pegging is an activity that is done by dominant woman on a cis-gendered submissive man, the truth is that it could just simply be a pleasurable act enjoyed by partners of any gender, with any genitals. There does not need to be any power play involved.

The way I like to teach any kind of sexual activity, is to make it about respect and reverence for each other’s bodies. If lovers are pampering each other, it tends to make things super-hot and horny. You know why? Because when you feel safe and appreciated, you will be more receptive to pleasure. Sure, taboo, power play, and role play can ramp up the intensity of sexual interactions, but have you ever thought that maybe your body wants relaxation more than it wants intensity?

Watch our Video about Pegging:

If you haven’t tried pegging before because you’re not into the idea of power play or you don’t have a pegging-related fetish that you want to explore, you could try approaching it as an opportunity to share a deeply pleasurable, and sensual experience. Wondering how or why? Read on to receive some of my sensual pegging wisdom.

Pegging and anal play can be very soothing for the nervous system.
Pegging and anal play can be very soothing for the nervous system.
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  • Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. If you’re the one who is going to be the penetrator, invite your partner to get comfortable so that you can give them lots of one-way touch. I say one-way, because if they are not thinking about touching you back, they can relax more into feeling how you are touching them. This will get them into a receptive state, which is what you want. Give them lots of relaxing strokes or a massage all over their body before you even start playing with their anus. This will help regulate their nervous system.
  • The anus can be incredibly tight and hold a lot of tension. Unlike a vagina the anus does not instantly soften and relax when aroused. The anus softens and relaxes through a regulated nervous system and then consciously relaxing the muscles and breathing deeply into the abdomen. Use plenty of lube and take your time caressing the outside of the anus before you insert any fingers to begin gently encouraging the outer sphincter to open.
  • Go SLOWLY and encourage your partner to consciously breathe and relax to ease in penetration. If you penetrate before the body is ready, pain and shock may cause dysregulation in the nervous system, which will make the body tense up and shut down the pleasure.
  • Anal play can be very soothing for the nervous system. Dilating the anal sphincters causes a reflex effect upon the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for sexual arousal with the release of certain endorphins and nitric oxide which acts as a muscle relaxant by dilating the corpora cavernosa and blood vessels, and as a result, more blood enters the genitals.

Maybe by now I’ve persuaded you that at the very least, you should gently insert a finger into your anus every now and then. Go on, its relaxing, your body will thank you for it.

You want to discuss about Pegging? Join the forum and tell us: Have you ever tried Pegging?

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