How challenging is a long distance relationship? My story.

We all may have experienced love over distance.I wanted to share my personal story with you, and since I am not the only one, I would be curious to hear what your experiences were? Feel free to pick your most challenging issue in a long distance relationship!

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772 kilometers lay between Frankfurt and London, 772 kilometers lay between my boyfriend and me. Divided between 2 countries, still closely located in Europe but nevertheless miles away from each other. Missing each other, longing for one another.
We were in a long distance relationship for over a year, trying to stick it out, hoping for a long term solution or change of events to be able to finally be together.

In the end, it did not last, but I think not because of the distance. We grew apart, and had little in common after a while. At the time we dated, we were on the same level, studying, partying, living the life! As students we shared a lot. But when real life kicked in- graduation, job search, making money, our differences became apparent:
Me, very keen and ambitious, wanting to achieve and put my skills to use, whereas him, not wanting to grow up, taking on menial jobs and smoking way too much weed, there was no mutual vision any longer. Today I know, that it was for the best. But back then, I was heartbroken…

But let’s start from the beginning!
I came to the UK as an exchange student in 2010, when Brexit wasn’t on the horizon yet and Europe was still a thing, so there were funds available to support international students.
On my second year studying Visual Communications for a Bachelor’s degree, I grasped the opportunity to get a grant to live and study in the UK for one term. Have studied English from early grades I thought I was prepared but I so wasn’t! Arriving at Heathrow by myself with my big yellow suitcase with only filled with basics, I was overwhelmed by the pace, not only the traffic but also language –British pronunciation was different than expected and I barely understood what was going on.

The university and their staff was very friendly and I got set up smoothly, and I threw myself into studying and immersed myself in student life. I made friends quickly with international students where there were many of, but contact to the British students has only been during classes only so far, they came across reserved and unapproachable to me, and I did struggle to fully converse with them beyond small talk.
However there was a boy who was extremely helpful for some reason, who always went the extra mile to explain me things and made me feel taken care of. And so it comes, we went out and started dating. Fully British, from a posh family, a funny and adventurous guy, Robbie scooped me up, introduced me to all his friends and made me feel part of his life. It was wonderful and a lot of fun, my language skills improved massively due to close practice with him, he’s always been so patient with me, helping me express myself and correcting my mistakes. Communication in the bedroom was excellent too, we had real passion for each other and we did not miss any opportunity to get it on.
When the end of the term approached, I extended. I extended once again after that, so I stayed for one whole year altogether. Due to my good results an exemption has been made, but for me, it was all for Robbie. I did not want it to end, I did not want to leave.
But eventually I had to, I run out of funds and I went back to Frankfurt to complete my degree.
We promised each other to make it work. We made a plan, how often we would visit each other, and what trips abroad we would make together. Constantly looking for cheap flight offers, booking suitable hotels and planning itinerary became normality.
Thinking back now of all the long Skype calls and endless texts, how frustrating, elaborate and emotional, how incredibly much work it was! But back then, we had the energy since we had the love.
When Robbie came to visit me in Germany for the first time, it felt odd to see him in a different environment, now in my neck of the woods, with me accommodating him this time. Communication with family and friends didn’t turn out not as easy as hoped, it appeared that the level of English within my circles wasn’t that good so I had to constantly translate.
High level of emotions after the visits slowly eroded and ordinary life took over, with my final degree fully occupying all my time.
Lack of mutual experiences and new directions and ambitions in our lives have finally taken their toll and we have quietly separated. It was so obvious at this point that it was a matter of pure realization. Robbie also became more and more jealous about my male friends and my whereabouts, since we only had rare moments of intimacy which are simply not enough for sexed up young people.
Robbie and my student year abroad will always have a special place in my heart and are kept as tender memories. In the end, I am grateful to him for evoking the love for UK in me so I eventually ended up here permanently. I have to admit, I do check his Facebook sometimes, secretly…
As ­­­­my wise advice goes, I would tell people not to fear a long distance relationship, and embark fully and truly on this difficult journey if one loves each other. But do make a joint plan with the time apart as a bridge towards something bigger, united, in one country in the future.