Contraception - a shared responsibility?

Simply put, in the context of this forum, would a female actually want to give this responsibility to another person.

In a straight normal non-swinging relationship, sharing the responsibility is definitely a valid conversation.

But here?

“Hey we don’t need to wear a condom because I’m tested and I’ve had the snip. It’s all good… trust me…”

Not seeing that as a good option

Crashing on an open door here. Condoms and any other form of male contraception are important and the responsible thing to do. Safety of the method for the man and efficacy need to be part of the equation.

Personally I'm on the way to a vasectomy. At my age it'd be irresponsible to have another child. As far as I understand I'd pass a much larger number of mutations compared to my younger self, increasing the long-term dangers to the child and the short term dangers for the mother, i.e. pregnancy complications. I wouldn't be so surprised if most of the miscarriages that in the past have been attributed to women were in fact the man's fault, especially older men.

I need to nudge myself some more for it (it ain't cheap and the procedure is pretty gross if I choose to not go under full anaesthesia, which is also more expensive) but it will happen soonish. I just need to find some partner(s) to have fun for the 40 ejaculations that are required to ensure there is no sperm left in the ducts. Feels like an important and potentially very pleasurable transition that would be a shame not to share. =D

Control over contraceptive? I never thought of it. For me sex has been rarely about reproduction. If it isn't, contraceptive is in order and to be worked out with the partner, one way or another. But I don't mind if either who take care of it. I'm not bothered wearing a condom. It's marginally less pleasurable than without but I don't mind it. I had at least a couple of female partners who were bothered by it though.

Thanks for the opportunity to share this!

I had a guy actually tell me “I’m clean, I always use soap down there.”

Clean implies someone who has an STI is unclean which is ignorant and this person clearly is not trustworthy related to protection. I test annually as I am responsible.

I carry condoms. Most men I have dated in the past also had them. I would not rely on a man to have one unless he is not using the average size.

Part of the reason I do not engage in FFM is that on more than one occasion a man put a condom on and tried to engage both women using the same condom. That puts the women at risk of an STI for each other.

Oral is a different story.

In my experience it varies. I've made the decision together with a partner and on my own. In both cases I'm of course open and transparent.

I think equally important is testing yourself and your partner because it's the responsible thing to do. In particular in a community where many have multiple or shared partners.

According to my husband, vasectomy procedure is nothing really. He had it done in a doctor's office under local anesthesia and watched it being done.

My ex had a vasectomy as well. I think long term partners who want to not have children this is the best solution for monogamous or closed groups. If you are in an open relationship etc or exploring your sexual freedom and having sex with someone that has a penis, it should be wrapped.

Oral is a different set of rules for most.

Yes, oral is a different set of rules. That's a hard one. Safe sex always, but then there's sensory deprivation, lol. I love to give cunninglingus, barriers sort of take the fun out of that sensation. But i dont mind wearing a condom for intercourse or a blow job. 🙂 - Brian.

ive tried a dental dam giving and receiving and that is not my thing. Most condoms have spermicide which is not fun for oral as well. 🤷‍♀️

Even though I don't have a uterus, I always took contraception as my responsibility for the simple reason that I don't want to "make more people".
In a previous relationship where she actually wouldn't mind a pregnancy, it was all on me. We used coitus interruptus for over five years; some times a condom, for the cleanliness or that we-come-together feeling. The only "dad" I became is a dog-dad!


In a different relationship - in which there was always a condom - I had a fear that if she would get pregnant I would get no say in the decision and might have to pay for it for 18 years (longer? I don't know the law).
This is in my opinion a strong incentive for the seed-supplier to take some responsibility; maybe the other guys are all rich?... I don't know. For me there is a strong incentive to take care of contraception myself because of the cost (money, time, stress).


OT:
Regarding oral sex and health, isn't it even more "dangerous" than genital? I remember reading somewhere that the mouth actually has more germs than the genitals, but I honestly don't know the science here.
I go by smell, as with milk: if it smells good, it's OK to put it in your mouth

Well people cry "Stay STD Free use a condom and seen to forget most STDs can also be transmitted via oral sex as well. Seems a half step way of working on the issue. Trust and honesty can go a long way on solving that I think. As for the contraception venue. I cut that to the bone and after my second daughter was born got surgically sterilized.
Yet took myself totally out of the gene pool. I figured I got lucky with 2 beautiful children why push my luck and why should the woman always be the responsible party alone?
In later years it did cut a few relationships short when she wanted children. But did not want ot consider all the other options for such in the world today. But hey, it is what it is. Life happens and you deal with it, or it runs you over. Just my personal opions for what it is worth.

I had a vasectomy about 10 years ago. The procedure was quick and painless under local anesthesia. Lying with my legs in stirrups whilst waiting for the surgeon also appealed to my exhibitionist nature
I was a bit sore for a couple of days, but nothing paracetamol couldn't mask. Now I can't even find the tiny scar it left.
I'm terms of my sex life, it was all positive. No more worries about pregnancy made us both more relaxed, no condom to reduce sensation (we are fluid bonded and share the same partners so stds not a concern) and as far as I can tell, my ejaculate is exactly the same colour and consistency.
We recommend the snip to any man who is sure they don't want to have (more) kids.

Agree 100%

Laugh at Life....SKYN condoms are pretty flavorless and do not have spermacide. Made from tree sap they are non allergenic, pretty comfortable and thin. Grab a tube of Margaritta flavored oral lube and your good. But I got ya, sort of takes the natural sensation away from both reciever and giver. Once again, it comes down to trust and vetted partners.

oh did not know comdoms have spermicide...

High Street, do you want only sex send me pictures

Yes i want sex

she liked the strawberry flavored condom the best and would not stop sucking