I’ve been in open relationships, polyamorous relationships, monogamous relationships where my ex cheated and I didn’t, BDSM relationships as the D sometimes sexual and sometimes not. There is a commonality among all types that should be followed.
Respect. Boundaries. Communication.
Respect your partner (s) / lovers. Sounds silly and obvious but honestly if one always acts with respect of the relationship or bond, there would be a lot less ex or scorned people in my opinion. Some are thinking, how am I being respectful if I am doing this act to someone? You are doing it WITH them and consensually. That’s the difference.
Boundaries. Be honest with what you are comfortable with. If she wants to get banged by 10 guys and you know it will deflate things for you, ok to say that. If he wants to try things with two female presenting humans and you would prefer another cucumber in the mix, ok to say it.
Communication. Things change over time so this is not generally a one time conversation. Expectations on how often you want to dive into the kinky side of things. Aftercare expectations as often people need time to process the experience. If you add a third for instance, private conversations with one and not the other can cause hurt feelings especially if you are new to this.
I’ve been in more than one situation in the past where one of a couple is reaching out wanting to meet without the other knowing. If you started as a 3 way consenting situation, this is not ok. They are not respecting that initial relationship and not worth your time or energy.
I am sex positive, make a conscious effort to not kink shame or judge, and certainly recognize that I make mistakes and this is a constant effort.
To the mod gods, yes you can use this and quote me. I’d prefer if you actually did give me the credit. 😜
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