Height supremacy vs. bodyshaming

Honestly, we’re biological creatures. We do prefer certain things rather than others, it’s in our DNA. This is what separates us from robots. And in my opinion the biggest lie in this digital age is that “everyone is equal”. We all deserve to be treated the same, in an utopian world. Reality looks different. As a straight male you wouldn’t flirt with another male. Is it called discrimination? No, it’s called personal preference, and everyone is free to make use of it. We like what we like, we are who we are. Going against your preferences is like going against who you are. It’s perfectly fine to say “I prefer tall men” as much as it’s fine to say “I prefer skinny women”. As much as you can say “I won’t fuck you because I’m not attracted to you.” – See, you can’t force attraction. So why not be realistic and simply filter for what you’re looking for. It’s harsh truth, some people simply won’t accept this. But do you really have the urge to live by the expectations of others? Make up your own mind 😄😊

I was talking to my gay male friends yesterday and we had this very conversation. They said they find it offensive if they read something like “no Asians”. They would prefer to see something like “I prefer Europeans” or “ I prefer men with body hair”. I completely understand that someone who prefers an Asian woman, beautiful porcelain skin, petit, beautiful brown hair would actual find me hideous. It is ok to say “I prefer skinny women”. The beauty of that statement is pretty much every woman in the world, skinny or not, has an issue thinking she is not skinny enough so she would not approach that guy.

Basically any guy that lists in his profile that his top age limit is less than my age, I let him know that I am over his age limit and politely decline. Almost always they say “I did not mean you” I am guessing because I look a bit younger.

I prefer men that are taller than me because I almost always wear heels. I prefer men that are medium to large build.

I like women who are a little curvy or have a little meat on their bones. When I see an athletic woman with a beautiful body, I want to be her but not usually want to be with her. That’s just my preference.

There is a more respectful way to put things then “no xyz need apply”

The beauty can not be hold .

I believe that one thing is what people say they are into and often truly convinced of it, which is influenced by society, advertising, fashion and also social networks these days. And another one is what it really attracts them, which is a lot less rational and it goes far beyond looks.
The preference of women for taller men, not tall men, I believe it’s nature related. It’s the look for a man who can protect them and their children.
The preference of men for skinny women is completely fake and created by influence. By nature men would be looking for fertile women who could have lots of kids, normally those are women with wider hips.
Bottom line I believe that most preferences we say we have aren’t natured related, they are in fact made up, by fantasies influenced by the society.

I disagree. I am a sadistic dominant woman. I don’t need protection and I also am not a breeder. (Not looking to reproduce). I like submissive men which falls way outside of what society tells me I should like. I prefer sexually charged men so someone A sexual would not attract me.

Society tells me to stay away from a woman with a neck tattoo but let me tell you, there is something about a woman willing to permanently mark her neck that checks off some box in my head begging me to get to know her better.

We’re not all the same, I was talking about the majority of people. It was not my intention to exclude anyone, but in this kind of subjects it’s impossible to talk case by case, there are too many.

There are perceptions that come with men being tall. But it seems like some women aren't aware that not all tall men are the same. It's discriminatory in some way, preferential in some. For me, such things should just be discussed when people want to talk in more detail and not put them in their profile, together with wanting to be dominated. Domination is conquering what people think you can't conquer. What's even weird for me is that sub men don't usually say such things when looking for a dominant woman. But this is part of human nature, and we can't just tell people to stop saying those. But at least they should be more considerate when addressing it to others. I just noticed that women in particular like putting such things in their preferences. It gives the impression that they won't even talk to a guy shorter than them, even if it's a friendly conversation. I had this "discriminatory" experience before in person and I was just humiliated, but at the same time glad that no one else saw or heard what the tall woman told me and gestured towards me.

Maybe because we can have influence on our weight but not really on our height.

I personally dont get enraged by both preferences.

I’ve had sex with a few men significantly shorter than me. My husband is also a little shorter.

Again, my preference is taller.

Mating preferences are certainly not discrimination.

They are a personal decision, a mind set. Simple as that, in my opinion.

The most important moment is when you get to know each other - in a very short time, you will check out that person, head to toe, body language, character, what not. This can (and probably will) include height, weight, body shape, body language, and much more. In some cases, a preference might become unimportant, if everything else is perfect. Flexibility wins.

Are we talking about women who have a certain expectation but who cannot fulfill the requests of the desired man? If so, where is the problem? Move on, find a man who wants you!

With my athletic body shape and some curves I am definitely not skinny, so if that would have been Mr. ZeeTee's "killer" preference, we might not have become a couple. I might have been disappointed for a moment, but that's life, no? But, it turned out differently, we share so many things - and we soon fell for each other.

Our modern world is full of hipocrisy, women are supposed to be tall, slim, beautiful, with nice boobs and butts, men should be tall, strong, have lots of money and what not. Welcome to the modern western society. In the end, it will be what you make out of it.

In my opinion, it is much more some social media platforms that promote discrimination. Just think about most "influencers" who definitely do not live a normal life. And many human lemmings follow superficial role models, ideas and thoughts promoted by these people.

I agree with that.



I disagree with that.

I do think that there's an incredibly strong social influence on what we consider to be attractive. And that can be heavily influenced by discrimination against certain groups of people. You can experience that first hand by being an asian man in the western world or a black person in asia. Sure, the preference exist on a personal level. But the general cultural attitude towards that specific "race" harms the attractiveness tremendously.
Asian men are usually depicted as short, having a small dick, being skinny, stuck up, nerdy, fearful or awkward. Even in movies that feature them as competent (Jet Li, Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan), they're not depicted as sexually appealing. While the white James Bond will get any woman, the asian martial arts master will not. Stuff like that definitely has an impact on what is and isn't considered to be attractive.

It's the same thing with height. There are a lot of negative associations with short men. They're seen as less capable, less manly, less confident. There's even a made-up complex that people assign to height.

To answer the original question: It's okay to ridicule short men because nobody cares. I experienced it first hand and there is nothing you can do. If you defend yourself you're accused of being thin-skinned, insecure and having a chip on your shoulder about your height. If you say nothing you signal that you're okay with what's being said. If another (tall) man steps up and says something, he likely ruins his chances with the woman who's making that statement. So everyone is keeping quiet.

I forgot to add something. The tone is also harsher because the criticism is usually directed at men. And women usually do not hold back when talking about male bodies for a variety of reasons. The whole movement about being politically correct, body positivity, MeToo, etc. made a lot of guys aware of how much what you say affect those who hear it. The same thing did not happen the other way around. Just look at the subforums "Frauen" or "Körper und Aussehen" and check threads about male bodies. Universal statements from women about men, such as a certain body type being "gross" or "disgusting" are no rarity at all. And the backlash is non-existant.

Wow! All valid opinions/ perspectives. However being a man at 178cm I’m deemed Too short... Have been in many cases... what’s worst for me is I don’t show bias. I’ve also been told that by many women that taller is Attractive... I dont judge and then leave it at that... when most cases 2 in 5 men are actually over 1,80+...🤔🤷🏾‍♂️ So it’s all a matter of choice... We all have our biases, I prefer mandarins over regular oranges... I love all women! I believe each of you are absolutely beautiful in your own authenticity- bias: yes- however to shun someone based on looks, wellbeing, height, weight are merely aesthetic and at the end of it all relations probably won’t go well, considering that there was only attraction due to physicality’s. I simply have learned to not judge as well as take every word society has entangled at face value when I personally believe there is No grater Truth, than Experience. Namaste

awesome to read this because for me, you would be in the preferred height range of “taller “ and perhaps me mentioning I like taller men puts you off

There are several different mechanisms at work here. First of all, on the surface, the preference for taller men, skinny women, green eyes or whatever is just that: A preference. As the saying goes: You cannot argue taste.

So, where do those specific preferences come from? Society, social environment, and genetic programming. But behind taste or preference is a much more fundamental mechanism. We use information filters to compress and classify the data our senses deliver to us. Otherwise, we would be overwhelmed by the giant influx of sensory information. This filtering is an unconcious process.

We also use filters that work on social data. These are conciously malleable to a certain degree. They comprise our stereotypes and prejudices. A stereotype is a way of quickly classifying social information. That might not be fair or correct all the time, but it is good enough most of the time and it is fast. That is why it is useful to us and has not yet been selected to be removed from our genome.

Bearing that in mind, we might justifiably argue that preferences of height or body fat percentage may be discriminatory. That does not necessarily make it bad. To discriminate derives from the latin "discriminare" which means to differentiate, to separate, to distinguish. Our preferences are just arbitrary thresholds the data beyond which we classify automatically as not interesting for us. That saves precious time and energy at the cost of maybe missing out. So we want a man of at least 1,80m height? Along comes this great guy who happens to be just 1,79m. Tough luck, we will never get to know him.

That is just life. We all make choices that may prevent us from encountering a great opportunity. But uncertainty is one of the most exciting things about life. If we cannot make a mistake and we do everything perfectly, there will be no thrill in life and we will die of sheer boredom. I do not want that.

Concerning preferences, I do not mind any of them. If someone has a certain taste, who am I to argue? The one thing that could be improved in communicating all our preferences, though, is the way we phrase it. I like the more inclusive style: "I prefer men of at least $value $arbitrary_attribute" as opposed to "No women over $other_value $other_arbitrary attribute". The former encourages people, the latter discourages them.

There is a huge difference between a person's tastes and preferences (which "I prefer tall men or thin women" is, in the end... regardless if it's created by society, advertising... that's not the point) and "bodyshaming", which is seeking to deliberately hurt someone because of the way they look...


body-shaming
noun
= the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size.

adjective
= expressing mockery or criticism about a person's body shape or size.

I'm happy to see that most people here are not putting an equal sign between these two concepts. However, I wanted to point out this rather insidious equation of a preference with "shaming" by the author of this post, which prompted me to react because I've seen it before, and it's toxic stuff...

If you think that other people's preferences are some sort of "discrimination" against you, I'm not surprised you're bothered by them!

However... you are not attracted to everyone out there, are you? So just relax and accept that not everyone will be into you either... and, funnily enough, that attraction actually has little to do with physical appearance in the end

"Discrimination", "supremacy", "shaming" are too strong words for this context... (to me...)

In my experience, the attention from people with, let's say, "strong body standards" is not actually worth it, in the end... Just ignore them, saves your day

I strongly disagree here. The requirement for a taller partner usually comes with or as a load of negative assumptions about those who do not fit this specific criteria.

It's not at all unusual to be rejected because I'm seen as a boy/child/non-man. To me, this goes quite a bit beyond a normal preference. Same for short guys being seen as weaker or less capable of "defending/protecting". This mindset dictates characteristics based on physical appearance, which is exactly what prejudice is. And saying that a person must not identify or can't possibly be perceived as a member of their own sex is neither a tame nor an uncommon statement. I can't think of many other requirements that go to this level. The ones that do come to mind are race-related.
And the second layer is exactly what the OP is talking about. Voicing those opinions results in zero backlash and is quite often even celebrated. Which gives the message that this kind of shaming is completely okay and often can be used for comedy.

Making fun of an ugly woman for being ugly in public would likely cause backlash. Making fun of a guy fir his height regularly causes laughter and agreement.

@****eee making fun of anyone for their appearance - i.e. actual shaming - IS NOT OK!

My original point was simply that the jump is quite big from a person saying "I prefer tall men" or "I prefer thin women" (the clichés we all know... scoffable at...) to saying that they are "shaming", or "discriminating" in any way through that simple expression...

I'm sorry that you had to feel such... ugly judgements... directed at you... I hope that better people stood up for you, or helped you forget the "body standards bullies"...

Slightly OT: A collegue of mine who happens to be rather short once said to me: "I really like being a small guy. It is much more energy-efficient."

My best friend considers herself “vertically challenged” but that has more to do with her not being able to reach the top shelf.

People make fun of other people due to their own insecurities.

Everyone has done or said something to someone that hurt, was inappropriate or just plain shitty.

Kudos and thanks to those brave enough to call someone out on it.

F those who are too ignorant to learn from their mistakes. They were never worth your time or energy anyway.