Trying Mutual Masturbation

An experience report from Anna

Mutual masturbation occurs when you and your partner touch yourselves in the presence of the other. JOYclub ambassador Anna tried it out for #MasturbationMay and took us with her - here's what she experienced.

By Anna Kii

Trying Mutual Masturbation

Anna Kii is JOYclub's ambassador for the UK. She's a German expat and has been based in London for 10 years, living and breathing all things kink and alternative lifestyle, as well as exploring art, shops and any other cool hang out spots London has to offer.

For those of us who engage in power dynamics in the bedroom, moments of synchronized vulnerability are rare, usually with one partner leading the other. Mutual masturbation strips this away, leaving us alone with ourselves, even if just for a moment.

Even for seasoned kinksters, this experience can feel slightly uncomfortable. It was challenging to look at each other so directly.

Typically, we follow a certain script for sexual activities, but this exercise detached us from that dynamic.

What even is mutual masturbation?

Trying Mutual Masturbation

Why even try mutual masturbation? Check out Venus Libido's article on the advantages of mutual masturbation and get some inspiration for trying it out yourself!

Read it now!

We sat on the bed with candles lit and music playing, facing each other naked. We started to talk and realized three things:

  • Men and Women Approach Their Bodies Differently: Women tend to caress their entire bodies, whereas men often go straight to the point. Although men enjoy being touched, they typically don't let their hands wander over their bodies as women do.
  • Learning About Each Other's Pleasures: We took the time to explain how we usually pleasure ourselves, and some of it was new information! The way I pleasure him isn't the same way he pleasures himself. It's not about being right or wrong; it's just different. We also reminded ourselves that erogenous zones aren't limited to genitalia. Nipples, hair, pressure, and speed play a significant role.
  • Craving Each Other's Touch: We realized that the pinnacle of sensation is each other's touch because it's unpredictable. Without it, the experience felt functional rather than sexual. I wasn't as aroused as usual and had to push myself a little. Masturbation isn't high on my list as a very sexually active person. This experiment made me wonder if I'm missing out.

How did it end? While it wasn't a sexually satisfying experience, it was conclusive.

We encourage others to try this to discover intimate details about each other's bodies and minds. It's easy to fall into habitual sexual patterns and never break out. This exercise is a great way to break out of the box. It was lovely to curate this intimacy by setting aside time and space for such a connecting activity. It was an evening of pure "us" time and a moment of self-care, breaking the habit of autopilot mode.

Do you have any experience with mutual masturbation? Was it a positive or negative one for you? Let us know in the forum!

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