The Intersection of Disability and Desire

July marked Disability Pride Month, and I had the pleasure of speaking with Laura, also known as Lady Firefox, a model and content creator who has transformed her journey through disability into a powerful narrative of empowerment and self-expression. Laura’s work spans various domains, from modelling with a focus on inclusivity to creating content that challenges societal norms around sex and intimacy.

By Venus Libido

Get to know the author!

Venus Libido is a qualified Sex Educator, Sex and relationships coach and training Clinical Sexologist and relationships therapist. For the last three years, Venus has been working in the field of sex education, sex toys and pleasure, endometriosis awareness and helping others when it comes to sexual wellness, intimacy, dating and relationship.

After an amputation that changed her life, Laura embraced her identity, channelling her experiences into a career that defies conventional expectations. During this interview, Laura sheds light on the intersection of disability and sexuality and the importance of inclusive and empowering spaces when it comes to exploring pleasure. Her story serves as an inspiring reminder that embracing one’s body and desires—no matter how society might view them—is a radical act of self-love and defiance.

Interviewing Lady Firefox

Can you share a bit about yourself, your work, and what you’re currently working on with our audience?

My name is Laura, or you know me as Lady Firefox on Instagram and other platforms. My work is all sorts, anything I can do to make money and not work a ‘real job’. Primarily I am a model, I’m signed to a modelling agency for people with disabilities which I joined 3 years ago after I had my amputation. I also do extra work, casualty simulation acting and content creation/onlyfans. There’s nothing specifically exciting which I am currently working on, but you never know where you might see my face pop up so keep your eyes open!

Can you tell us a little bit about your personal experience around pleasure & intimacy to date and how you got into the work you do today?

I kind of fell into what I do now by accident to be honest! I studied photography at university and never thought I would end up a model! Not long after my now husband and I met he encouraged me to do Suicide Girls which I did and that led me into Onlyfans. Where we make content together also. After my amputation he again supported me and my decision to quit my soul destroying 9-5 and pursue all I do now full time.

I’ve always been quite a sexually liberated person. Being in non monogamous relationships for many years since I first had a threesome over 10 years ago and accepted my sexuality. His story was much the same so not long after we started dating we started to go to kink clubs together and now I also go a lot on my own with my friends. I’m a bit of a voyeur, but also an exhibitionist. And I love the opportunity to dress up in latex for an event. I feel very at home in kink spaces as I feel they are one of the most diverse and accepting crowds you will meet in a club. I now pretty much never visit anywhere but kink or queer spaces.

Has your disability impacted the way you feel about your body, and if so, can you give us some tips that have helped you along the way?

Interestingly enough I feel more myself now following my amputation than I ever did before I had it. I was born with a disability and then later in life developed tumours which led to the option of amputation. My old leg feels like a distant memory and I hated the pain I was in which I no longer suffer with (as much).

Because of this I find myself feeling more confident in myself than I ever did before. And actually it was never the fact that I was missing a leg which knocked me. Following the operation I went through 4 months of recovery before I got my first prosthetic leg. It’s inevitable that your body is going to change when you’re unable to walk for that long.

I grew up in the 90s when supermodels like Kate Moss graced the front of magazines and heroine chic was the look of the day. The tabloids and magazines would ridicule anyone who didn’t fit this specific aesthetic. They didn’t have women with one leg on the front cover with comments about how gross they looked and that they had let themselves go. So in that period of time I found those changes in my body more difficult to deal with than having one leg!

Though I’ve always been a pretty confident person. And I think the real key to loving yourself in the skin you’re in is just spending more time with yourself naked! Walk around the house nude, take naughty selfies and look at yourself in the mirror. You’re beautiful and what’s make people beautiful are your imperfections, learn to love them!

Let’s talk about fetishising disabled people and what experiences you have had around this.

A person who has a fetish for disabled people is called a devotee and I do have experience with them. There are people out there who are specifically devotees for amputees too. As an online sex worker, being disabled is my niche. So I am very much used to being fetishised and I’m ok about that if those people are paying me for content through my onlyfans.

It’s all about consent at the end of the day and if they’re paying me I’m consenting to them doing it. I get lots of what many people would think are strange requests, I don’t kink shame but most of them wouldn’t even be considered sexual to other people. Things like videos of me using my wheelchair or crutches. Crawling on the floor or hopping.

Basically, don’t fetishise someone without consent and go to the right places to get your content.

Have you found any particular parties, events or meetups to be inclusive and accessible for someone with a disability? If not, what would you like event organisers to improve on so that they are?

Absolutely, there are plenty out there. And any event worth its salt will offer carer/personal assistant tickets to disabled people and have an accessibility report available for their venue. My personal favourites are One Night Parties and Scene/Unscene. The organisers Miss Gold and Jane Grey are really helpful with communication about their access before the event and will allow you entrance early if it helps you. Klub Verboten and Riot Party are also good and offer free carer tickets.

One thing I will say as someone based on the London kink scene - times are hard. Clubs are really struggling to find appropriate venues that will allow play parties. So if the night is on in a venue which isn’t all ground floor or there isn’t a disabled toilet it won’t be for their lack of trying to find one. It’s important the kink scene doesn’t die so please don’t get too mad at the organisers!

Can you share any helpful resources for anyone looking to explore their sexuality alongside their disability and who is finding it particularly hard? Whether this be resources, communities or social platforms.

There are lots of resources out there and I’m a sure there are a lot that I don’t know about. I was invited to the launch of an accessible sex toy range last year - called the quest range which is made by a company called Rocks off. They have toys for both penis and vagina owners which have been modified for people who experience problems with their motor skills. And all of them can be controlled remotely so a partner or personal assistant can control them for you.
This range was part of a campaign called Undressing disability by Enhance the UK. There aim is to raise standards in sexual health and awareness for disabled people.

If you’re based in the UK I also recommend SH:24. Which is a website which allows you to order STI tests to your house for home testing. It covers chlamydia, gonorrhoea, HIV and syphilis. Once you have completed the test you drop it in the post box. This is a great resource for those people who might struggle to get a clinic.

I lost my leg because of tumours and actually featured in a campaign for a company called girlvscancer based around sex and cancer. Macmillan also ran a similar campaign recently with Lovehoney, who have a page on their site for disabled users. Your body changes during the course of Cancer and chemo and it’s important to talk about how these things make you feel. So I recommend checking out both website if this is something you are also going through.

Thank you for the interview!

As we close this conversation with Laura, or Lady Firefox as she’s known to her followers, it's clear that her journey is not just one of personal triumph but also a powerful testament to the strength found in embracing one’s true self. Laura's story teaches us that our bodies, in all their forms and with all their experiences, are worthy of exploring pleasure, intimacy and event kinky parties! Let’s continue to push for more inclusive spaces, where everyone, regardless of their abilities, can explore their sexuality and express themselves freely. Because at the end of the day, loving yourself in the skin you’re in is the most radical act of defiance—and empowerment—there is.

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