A few nights ago, I was at my first hair play party. I must confess, I never knew such a thing even existed. Until then, I had assumed that the realm of hair play naturally unfolded within the act of intimacy, an integral and perhaps inevitable aspect touched upon during various forms of sexual interaction that was unavoidable. However, exploring the realms of hair goes far beyond what I expected.
By Venus Libido
Venus Libido is a qualified Sex Educator, Sex and relationships coach and training Clinical Sexologist and relationships therapist. For the last three years, Venus has been working in the field of sex education, sex toys and pleasure, endometriosis awareness and helping others when it comes to sexual wellness, intimacy, dating and relationship.
The event was held in Europe's only fetish hair salon - Harness & Mane. The evening was facilitated by Gunel Kelly, who is the Head Mistress of Harness & Mane and a guest speaker, as well as a hair fetish enthusiast - Fiona Foyer (@beautiful_erotica_uk).
This was a small and intimate gathering of people, which, to me, is preferable when exploring and learning the world of touch. The owner, Gunel, was incredibly welcoming and instantly made me feel comfortable and allowed me to explore the space, which was filled with kinky items from shibari jewellery, leather collars and kinky hair illustrations made by Fiona (workshop leader for the evening) herself.
After exploring the store and having a few moments to interact with the other attendees, Fiona took a moment to provide a brief introduction to the concept of hair play. She elaborated on why people find joy in this unique form of touch and offered guidance on safely and consensually delving into hair play with others. With her insights in mind, we were free to utilise the salon space to discover and enjoy each other's hair. There were sinks, shampoos, capes, oils, rope, brushes, wigs and even a cage to take advantage of. Although I had hoped for my partner's participation, his absence led me to consider another option – why not seek the expertise of Fiona herself? Graciously, she accepted my request to engage in a delightful session of hair play together.
Now, if you think your hairdresser doing your hair is relaxing, when you experience someone playing with your hair so passionately and with such intent, you honestly feel euphoric. They even had chocolates to bring you out of that state, which I had no idea was a thing! But it worked.
Fiona initiated the play by delicately running her fingers through my hair, meticulously tending to every inch of my scalp before transitioning to a gentle brush. As I gradually eased into the comforting sensation, Fiona enriched the experience by coating her hands with oil and applying a gentle massage to my scalp. I felt that each touch was done with such care and consideration. What I cherished most about this intimate moment was Fiona's thoughtful gesture of maintaining constant contact, a subtle reassurance that she remained present, offering unwavering support. As the play went on, Fiona gently stroked her hands over my neck and shoulders. At one point, she tied my hair into a plait and made me hold it in my mouth; now that got some juices flowing. The whole experience was like nothing I had experienced before, and I was extremely grateful for the opportunity to spend some time with Fiona.
For anyone curious about hair play, please do it! Or attend one of Fiona's workshops and learn more about the exhilaration of touch and exploration through hair.
Interview with Fiona Foyer
After the event, I reached out to Fiona and asked if she would mind answering a few questions about hair play, and here's what she had to say...
Why do you think hair fetishes/kinks are not talked about, despite them potentially being the most popular fetish/kink?
I think the reason why hair fetish is not talked about is because it's not thought about as a fetish or kink. I believe that for women, it is very normal, and we can openly discuss our enjoyment of going to the salon and having our hair done, maybe even getting a head massage. But for men, that isn't the case, and if you look into kink groups and hair fetish groups, it is primarily men. I believe that because men don't think this is normal, the only other word they can come across to describe it is a fetish. I think playing with her hair and grooming each other is very, very basic primal, and the majority of people enjoy this.
What are your top three pieces of advice for someone who wants to start exploring hair play?
First, don't make it complicated; start with touching and playing with your partner's hair. You also need to talk about what the person likes and what the person doesn't like, cause touching someone's head is very intimate. Talk about how they care for their hair, what brushes they use, what products they like, and why they use these things.
What are some benefits of exploring hair play for those who have never explored hair play?
There are a lot of benefits to hair play. The first is that it is very relaxing. It is relaxing to both the giver and the receiver. Hair play is also the goal and not always the prerequisite to anything else. Also, focusing only on someone's hair and hair play is a wonderful, sensual and mindful act. You're not asking lots of questions. You're not looking for a conversation. It's a purely tactile thing, and to be focused that much on one person or to have one person be that focused on you is not something we have every day. Also, suppose you're playing with somebody for the first time. In that case, it is a beautiful way to start playing with somebody because it's very intimate and sensual but not intimidating. All you need is creativity and a hairbrush.
Is it true that hair fetishes/kinks appear more frequently in males? If so, why do you think this is?
I don't think hair fetish appears more with men; I feel it's equal between both sexes, but I think the word fetish is used among men because they don't have another word to describe their enjoyment of hair. For women, it's normal to talk about how you enjoy going to the salon and how you have your hair done. We, as women, don't think twice about brushing our friend's hair. Even if it's not a sexual thing, it is a way that we care for one another. However, this is less "normal" for men, and there isn't a way for them to easily talk about it, and then they find it among the word fetish and other fetishists.
What is one unique way that someone can experiment with hair play?
Don't forget the people who don't have hair on their heads; they can still enjoy hair play. You can drape your own hair on somebody else's head and brush it against their own head. Or drag it across, swish it around their neck and on their backs. These are all lovely sensations you can do with your hair to your partner who doesn't have hair. This is also not limited to just the head.
Has this article sparked curiosity in you? Well then here's your chance to gain some first-hand experience with hair play! Fiona is holding a workshop in Bristol next month to introduce you to all things hair fetish.
If you want to learn about more kinky events in your area, including hair play and future events at Harness & Mane, discover the event world of JOYclub! See what's going on inside your city, become a fan of your favourite clubs, and benefit from 10% off of ticket prices from our Premium Partners as a Premium JOYclub member.
Do you enjoy hair play? Maybe you've never even heard of it, but now it all makes sense? Share in the forum!
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