How to work your Sex Magic

What Sex Magic is and what it isn’t

Sure, sex can be great - but what if we told you it can literally be magical? If you want to channel your erotic energy in a way you've never done before, read this article and get inspired!

By PriestessPow

How to work your Sex Magic

"My name is Paulina Tenner, I’m a sex positive community leader and a pro domme working in East London. I’m passionate about empowering humans to go on deeper explorations of parts of themselves that feel erotic, transgressive (if that’s what you want) and exciting as hell 🔥 If you’re interested in a session of this kind, DM me."

Let’s dismantle some myths first! In my experience, and practice, Sex Magic is a manifestation technique and a way to get to know, and feel yourself more deeply. A way to get aligned with your truth if you will. It uses a particular kind of medicine we all have access to - that of Eros, or Life Force. As one of my teachers puts it, this “plant medicine” is the most accessible of all because it grows… on the inside.

Despite the purely sexual connotations (Eros - erotic), you don’t have to be sexually turned on in order to work with Eros. It naturally flows through you simply because you are alive! You can easily elevate your Life Force in a ritualistic setting by going ecstatic dancing for example or by doing breathwork. Here I will focus on how to work with it in a sexual context, either by yourself - in a self pleasure practice for example - or with partner(s). Let’s face it, it can be quite a lot of fun to do it in that way!

Practising Sex Magic involves setting a strong intention which can be personal (such as getting a job you aspire to have) or collective (eg alleviation of global hunger) and sending all erotic energy raised in a singular practice, or a series of practices, towards this intention. This practice has been linked with occult (but also for example tantra) and other spiritual paths.

Importantly, it isn’t: anything to do with coercing someone to do something with you or for you. Magical practices that I speak of simply open doorways for things to become possible in your life, in a way that doesn’t interfere with the cosmic order but which supports it. They won’t however, for example, bend someone else’s will or manifest an elephant in the middle of your living room. That wouldn’t make any sense in terms of natural order of things.


How to practise Sex Magic

1. It’s all about the right setup

First things first. Find an appropriate time and space, the more relaxed and surrendered (while at the same time focused) you are, the better likely the results. This could involve going on a full on sex date with yourself too! Check my article on conscious masturbation for ideas how to implement one.

Before you start, create an appropriate setting that ideally introduces different kinds of things that please your senses. For example: beautiful clothes and underwear and/or makeup, mood lighting, scents and textures that give your pleasure, the best playlist of the century that almost guarantees a yummy mood. Given this practice is all about raising high amounts of erotic energy, sustaining it for a particular period of time and consciously working with it, whatever can help you get into a space where you can do it will be extremely useful. Accessories such as sexual play toys will also come in handy (I don’t recommend watching porn simply because it generally takes you away from the pleasure you feel in your body and into your head).


2. The power of the intention

Once you are ready, set your intention. You can simply hold it in your mind or write it on a piece of paper to place by your bedside (or wherever you’re about to do Sex Magic). I normally use things like candles, incense and my favourite ritualistic objects. If you’re a meditator, it’s a great idea to meditate on your intention for a little while first. Connect with it fully in your body and mind first, and then to let it go, allowing for it to come to fruition only if it’s for your - and other beings’ - highest good. If you have an existing spiritual practice and tend to call on particular powers, entities or deities within it, you are welcome to bring them into this space too.


3. Slowness does it

Take things really slow. I usually start with placing my hands one on the heart and one on the womb area or genitals. I breathe for a while just tuning into my body - what it feels and where, what it might need from me. Remember that your complete presence and attention during the practice is the most powerful tool you have, so the moment you get lost in your mind, you can come back to the body by stretching a little, tapping or pinching yourself somewhere that feels nice.

When you feel ready and get an explicit “YES!” from your body, bring touch to different parts of it but for genitals at first, awakening sensation and pleasure everywhere. It can feel really sexy to do it through your clothes first and then underneath them. I like using breathing techniques, moan and make sounds, and move my body in all sorts of ways to magnify the flow of pleasure. Let your intuition guide you what to do to get properly warmed up and raise the delicious energies in your body. If you find you actually feel like standing up or even dancing once the energy starts moving you, do! Sometimes I imagine myself in all sorts of sexy scenarios too, remembering to come back to sensations in my body. And sometimes I quietly talk to my.. pussy asking her what kind of pleasure she might like today.

Importantly, keep holding your intention in your awareness. Send every wave of pleasure, every moan, every ecstatic movement towards that intention. You can also use visualisation to imagine how you will feel once that intention is manifested, making the feeling and/or mental image of the result you’re looking for stronger with every ounce of pleasure that you feel.


4. To orgasm or not to orgasm - that is the question

It’s entirely down to you if you choose to orgasm (once or more) or not at all. Your body will generally know what it needs most if you tune into it - be it the explosive release of energy or, on the contrary, just the quieting down of it so the low buzz of it can simmer in your system for quite a while once you’ve finished your session. The “unfinished business” of orgasmic energy in your body might also motivate you to do some Sex Magic again sooner rather than later which means a greater opportunity to manifest that which you’re working towards.

An orgasm, particularly if built up to for a good while, is a significant explosion of energy and generates powerful magnetic fields. As I’m reaching significant levels of sexual energy in my body (say 8 out of 10), I hold my intention in my mind even more strongly, even whispering it under my breath sometimes. If I do orgasm, I make this moment of the pinnacle of pleasure a final prayer for my desired outcome.

One of the more advanced Sex Magic practices, which I have also tried, is one described by infamous British magician Aleister Crowley. Simply write out your intention on a tissue which you can then cover with sexual/orgasmic fluids and plant deep in the earth to grow and bear fruit, in the right shape and at the right time.


5. Revelling in the afterglow

I always take a looong time to stay in the post orgasmic waves of relaxation. I dissolve in the spaciousness that comes with it, sometimes falling asleep but more often than not hovering in between dreaming and awake state. While at it, while my mind is resting, often beautiful insights occur, visions come and sometimes I get understandings of what else might be needed to make my intention manifest.

So if you can afford it, don’t just get up and go, take your sweet time to come back to reality and benefit from all sorts of things you might experience during this little integration. If you tend to feel guilty when you choose to indulge in just passively resting, why not think of it as an investment in working towards your ideal future. Not all work is about intensity and sweating it out and this one is often all about gentleness and surrender.


6. Where to start - tips for beginners

Hopefully the practice doesn’t seem too daunting and you’re still tempted to try it, even if you’ve never done anything like it in your sex life before! If you do feel a little overwhelmed by the steps I described above, simply let it all go and find your own way! Often the best thing possible to do with any practice you are interested in is to keep it simple. So, condensing Sex Magic to its essence, and whatever else you choose to do, simply consider these three things:

  • set your intention carefully - if you’re asking for something to manifest in your life or on your path, would this be in accordance with highest good of all involved? Might it steer you into better alignment with your ultimate purpose (in a way you understand it at present) or might it be taking you away from it ?
  • call on and attune yourself to powers greater than your singular erotic energy, such as universal love, Mother Earth, Divinity (however you understand it), so the practice is more powerful
  • most importantly, enjoy the process (which isn’t too hard when it comes to all things sexual!) without hyper focus on the outcome.

Will you be practising witchcraft from now on? Or do you take it all with a grain of salt? Let us know in the forum!

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