What is a unicorn? And how do you find one? Dive into the world of unicorn seeking with Venus Libido and learn from a unicorn's own experience.
By Venus Libido
Venus Libido is a qualified Sex Educator, Sex and relationships coach and training Clinical Sexologist and relationships therapist. For the last three years, Venus has been working in the field of sex education, sex toys and pleasure, endometriosis awareness and helping others when it comes to sexual wellness, intimacy, dating and relationship.
What is a Unicorn?
The term "Unicorn" refers to an individual interested in connecting and/or being intimate with a couple. Their intentions could range from a memorable one-night encounter to a more profound and lasting commitment or anything in the spectrum. They may prefer exclusive dating with one particular couple, exploring connections beyond your dynamic, or landing anywhere in the middle.
Their interests might involve participating in a couple's sexual fantasies or role-playing, or they could seek undivided attention from the couple or, again, fall within the diverse possibilities. It's crucial to recognise that not every unicorn shares the same desires. In the realm of intimate dynamics, the only reliable way to discern their preferences is through direct communication.
Understanding the Basics
Unicorns don't engage in individual dating with two people; instead, they become part of a couple. Finding someone who is attracted to both members of an established partnership and is willing to join as a secondary partner is uncommon, but they undeniably exist. This is the fundamental reason why such individuals are referred to as unicorns.
The spectrum of individuals interested in assuming the role of a unicorn is vast and diverse, encompassing individuals of any gender. It's also important to remember that a unicorn is not a sex toy that you can switch on and off when you want. Their desires, interests and emotions are as important as you and your partners.
Watch Venus' livestream on how to find your unicorn here!
Best practices for meeting a unicorn
- The decision to seek a unicorn to join your existing relationship must be a joint one both partners want.
- Don't make assumptions about their sexual preferences.
- Not all unicorns are bisexual.
- Keep checking in with each other, even during sex.
- It's ok if someone changes their mind at any point.
- While some unicorns may be open to enhancing romantic fantasies for a couple, others may not share the same inclination. Investing time in understanding their preferences and desires within the dynamic is crucial.
Q&A with a unicorn
I had an exhilarating conversation with the enchanting unicorn, JustD, delving into their thrilling experiences as a unicorn.
What intrigued you about living the unicorn life?
I was previously married, we on occasion, would open our relationship and invite various ladies to join us as I was Bi-curious at the time and it allowed me to explore that side of me, whilst sharing the experience with my then husband. After 10 years I found myself single again. Dating had changed, so had I. I knew by this point I was Bisexual, and when I signed up to a known dating site for people into Polyamory, Swinging, Kink, Fetish and all things in-between, I noticed that while I was getting plenty of male attention, my inbox was predominantly filled with couples enticing me to meet with them. I knew I didn't want a relationship and really wanted to explore me again, what turned me on and pushed my boundaries. Me being the new person to join couple instead of the other way around was completely new to me, it was exciting and completely out of my comfort zone. I wanted to be that new toy, that shiny new penny and I loved the idea that not just one person wanted me, but both individuals!
What was the most rewarding part of being the unicorn?
I have always been picky about who I met up with. I take time to know the couples and to really see if there was a good vibe, similar interests within the bedroom and that we were all on the same page. Because I got to know those I finally met and played with, I always felt quite honoured to be invited into their intimate lives, into their relationship in that moment. I felt sexy and wanted, I never feel greedy for enjoying being desired in that way. Also, everyone is so different, each couples dynamic can vary so much as can how they like to play. I definitely gain more confidence and experience playing with couples, some really like to take charge which drives my submissive side insane, others like to worship you and shower you in attention. I really have a sense of fulfilment from being a unicorn.
What is a common misconception about unicorns?
Honestly? Im not sure. I think that there are still a lot of vanilla people who are oblivious to the fact it's a thing. There may be some who think that unicorns are just sleeping around, greedy maybe? But I have always surrounded myself with people who know me and my ways. More often than not, when I say I unicorn, I am met with inquisitiveness and people in awe, who actually say if they were single now, they would love to try out being a unicorn and feel that freedom and excitement.
What was the most challenging thing for you, if anything?
I think the hard part is what known as the drop. After meeting with someone or a couple, that excitement, that rush. All those high feelings you get from a being in that moment. Then a day or two later, In bed alone, though by choice, I'm alone. I know they are together and they have that connection but my fun time (as short lived as it may be, in that moment), has ended. Back to reality and sometime it's hard. Emtpy. I don't feel needed anymore in that moment.
What is one thing you wish people knew before looking for their unicorn?
Make sure it is something that both you and your partner genuinely want to explore together. Define all three of your boundaries, your hard no's and make sure everyone is on the same page. It may be for your first, you agree you dont want your male partner to have full intercourse with your unicorn. Be clear in your communication, it will make play so much more fun and relaxed. Just remember, you're only human and feelings and change. The idea of something may be great, but in the moment you may feel different, and thats totally normal. Make sure you are all comfortable and enjoy!
What is one thing you have learnt from being a unicorn?
That being a third wheel is no bad thing! Being a unicorn is by far one of the best ways to enjoy dating. You can experience dating a couple (or couples) you are attracted to with no strings. There are far more couples looking for single ladies to join them. Whether you're looking for more meaningful connections or like to make the most of your freedom and flit between those who you find yourself attracted to. So if you are considering dipping your toe in, get out there, you will be surprised how many horny couples are waiting to lead you astray!
What to consider if you want to be with a unicorn
Adding a third partner is a big decision for any couple. It may have a great effect on your love life, but it can raise complex issues. Here are some questions you and your partner should consider before trying to find a unicorn:
- What will the unicorn's role be in our relationship? Is this a purely sexual experience, or will we go on dates? Will this be a long-term arrangement? How much commitment do we want to make?
- Will we have individual relationships with the unicorn? Will the third partner date or have sex with both of us individually or only together? How will we divide our time?
- What if our feelings change? How often should we communicate about how we feel? How often should we communicate with the unicorn about how they feel?
Remember it is okay to take your time to evaluate if you have chemistry or a possible foundation of friendship with a potential unicorn or couple before immediately trying to have a threesome or any form of sexual intercations.
Do you have experience in finding unicorns? Or have you even been a unicorn yourself? Let us know in the forum!
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