BDSM

In BDSM, power, pleasure and also pain are in the foreground. You live out your submissive or dominant inclination and make use of different types of play. Exactly these are summarized with the letters B, D, S and M. In JOYclub you will learn everything about the different types of BDSM, from bondage to dominance.

What is BDSM?

The term BDSM is composed of four letters:

B = Bondage
D = Discipline and Dominance
S = Submission and Sadism
M = Masochism

At first glance, the abbreviation BDSM seems quite confusing. What does BDSM mean in concrete terms? Does everyone who wants to try BDSM also have to serve all types of play? The answer is simple, because it is of course no

To like BDSM or to be interested in this kind of play does not mean that you prefer all parts. You have all the options and these different options are by definition grouped together as BDSM

Video: These are the most popular SM games

Sex expert Jana Förster gives an overview of popular SM practices in the video.

The nuts and bolts of BDSM

As already mentioned, games from the field of BDSM always take place consensually. However, this also means that clear agreements are necessary between the partners. This conversation is about wishes, but also about boundaries and taboos. From the beginning it must be clear what can happen during a session and what must not happen. A session is a time-limited framework in which the agreed activities take place together.

Many BDSMers follow the BDSM principle "safe, sane, consensual" - SSC for short. This means they make sure that a session is safe, sane and consensual.

The safeword in BDSM

To ensure that nothing ever takes place that one of the parties doesn't want, a safeword is agreed upon. This special word immediately interrupts the game. Accordingly, in a regular BDSM game, this word would not be used, so it is unmistakably clear that it is the stop word.

Which safeword should it be?

The words "stop" or "no" would naturally lend themselves as a safeword, but are a conceivably poor choice in BDSM. Often, exactly these and similar terms are part of the game. A top, for example, is deliberately exploring boundaries. To resist playfully is often part of the setting.

For this reason, you need a term in every case that you cannot confuse under any circumstances. The agreed word must combine the following characteristics:

• It must not play a role in the sexual context.
• It must be unambiguous.
• It must be easy to remember.

Everyday objects in the form of nouns are ideal. How about "kitchen roll" or "flower vase"?

The traffic light system

Another alternative is the so-called traffic light system. Here, the game partners work with three colors, which are used as follows.

• Green: When asked (usually to the bottom), the bottom can answer "green" to indicate that everything is okay. The traffic light is literally green.
• Yellow: If one of the playing partners says "Yellow" as a term, this is to be understood as a Slowword. It means that the session should not be stopped, but the intensity should not increase either. It's good the way it is, but that's all it should be.
• Red: The term "red" and the mention of it is understood as a stop word in the traffic light system and results in the immediate interruption of the game.

Alternative safe sign

But what if speaking is not possible at all during a game? saying "flower vase" with a gag in your mouth could well be a challenge. In this case, a safe sign must also be agreed upon beforehand. This sign must also be unambiguous, so that all parties involved immediately recognize that the game is cancelled.

Suitable safe signs are certain knocks, finger signs or the dropping of a certain object. The slow level can also be built into the sign. For example, if you hold out three fingers, you could signal "yellow" and a circle (made of index finger and thumb) could stand for "red" and thus abort.

BDSM roles and their dynamics

Inclinations are varied and different. Some people prefer to play on top, some on the bottom, and others romp in the in-between. To be able to name what you are looking for, labels and terms can help. This also helps you to recognize who is interesting for you as a play partner. If your inclinations change, the BDSM role in which you find yourself can also change.

In many cases, BDSM has an active and a passive part. This results in the following picture:

• Top/Dom: The top is the active or dominant part in BDSM. The person acts actively according to the previously agreed wishes. He beats, tortures, rewards, caresses, punishes or ties up the bottom. It is important that the emotional and physical state of the bottom is respected and the activities take place exclusively within the agreed framework
• Bottom/Sub: The bottom is the passive or submissive part in BDSM. This is educated, is at the mercy, is beaten, humiliated, but also caressed and rewarded. Both parties, top and bottom, have at any time the possibility to stop the game with the safeword

Who is "top" and who is "bottom" in BDSM does not always have to be determined in advance. Do you feel designated to the passive role and has fun with both variants.

Types of play of BDSM

As mentioned above, BDSM is not a single type of play, but a collective term that includes various techniques. For example, BDSM games can be dedicated to bondage or discipline. Or the dominance and submission.

What is bondage?

Bondage: technique is important, feelings are more important!

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Whenever you or your play partner are tied up, it is called bondage. The same applies to all situations in which the freedom of movement is restricted. Means to an end are common in bondage:

• ropes
• handcuffs
• chains
• adhesive tape
• leather straps
• and more

The appeal for the bound person is to be helpless or to exercise power in a safe and consensual setting. The feeling of being defenselessly at the mercy of one's counterpart can lead to ecstasy. The active and thus captivating part, in turn, enjoys the apparent power he has over his bottom.

What does Discipline mean?

Whenever it comes to educational games, we talk about "Discipline". It is about rules as well as control. The active part controls whether the rules are followed by the bottom. How the rules are defined is up to the playing partners. It can be purely related to BDSM play, but it can also involve a certain part of everyday life. The possible applications are very wide and so are the mutually agreed rules

Whoever breaks the rules will be punished. If, on the other hand, the rule has been followed, this can be an occasion for a reward. Such a dynamic is, for example, often part of ageplay rebellion.

What does Dominance and Submission mean?

These two terms stand for "dominance" and "submission" and are also a type of BDSM game. The power imbalance between the persons is created in this game voluntarily and controlled. The passive part submits to the rules of the dominant part. If the dominant part is female, then she is called a Mistress, among other things. No matter how dominant women in BDSM call themselves, they all have one thing in common: they are all about dominance and submission

How far the submission goes is decided by all involved persons together. There is a wide range here as well. One group relates the dominance and submission to small tasks, other people prefer the submission including leash. The appeal behind the game of dominance and submission is not unlike the BDSM game of discipline

What does sadism and masochism mean?

Although SM is only a subset of BDSM, so this term is often used synonymously. In fact, however, it is also only a variety of the whole. The areas of sadism and masochism deal with the desired suffering of pain

Here, too, the practices are very diverse. Some play partners beat with their hands, others use various instruments. Pinching, tickling, pinching or even hot wax can also be components

Wax play is a BDSM practice in which liquid candle wax is dripped or poured onto the partner's body.

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The pleasure gain for the active part consists in the infliction of the pain as well as in the physical reaction of the passive play partner. The passive part, in turn, enjoys the sensations and impressions of the pain, up to sexual excitement and ecstasy.

Combination of different techniques of BDSM

Often games of BDSM are combined with each other. Power games are not infrequently associated with bondage; discipline and dominance are also close. The design of all BDSM games is very diverse.

The common game does not always fit into only one type of game, which is why the terms and their affiliation do not matter. The important thing is that all people involved feel pleasure, joy or maybe even ecstasy. Compliance with all agreed boundaries is the be-all and end-all here.

Movies, BDSM Toys and BDSM Clothing

Which BDSM toy comes into question for you depends on which type of play you prefer to pursue. There are BDSM accessories for almost every type of game to make role-playing and other games even more fun and realistic.

• Bondage toys: any material that you can use to fix or restrain your partner could be part of bondage and suitable as a toy. These can be everyday objects (such as belts, ties, scarves, scarves or pantyhose) as well as special toys. Ropes, chains, metal (e.g. as handcuffs), leather, lacquer and latex (e.g. for collars or bags), gags, masks, tape and more are used especially often in bondage.
• SM toys: Everything that causes pain but is applied with consent is allowed as a toy. Especially popular are whips and paddles, springs, ticklers and nipple clamps.

Different impact tools also mean different pain stimuli.

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• BDSM clothing: When it comes to clothing, you and your play partner should choose exactly the clothes that best suit your game. For example, for bondage there are special bondage bodysuits, but also lacquer, leather, latex and chains are used as clothing components.

Often you can find whole BDSM sets in stores. These contain toys of different kinds, so that you can skillfully combine the BDSM practices with each other. How about a collar as a sign of your submissiveness and at the same time the matching whips in the package? Also associated SM movies or generally a BDSM movie can be part of the sets.

You can find BDSM sets in every sex shop, online and offline.

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JOYclub is your partner for more knowledge

You want to know more about the different types of BDSM? Then you are at the right address at JOYclub, because we have them all. From bondage to sadism to discipline. Find out here how to behave as a top or bottom and which toys and rules are particularly popular for the individual types of play.

Captivating reading fodder for those interested in BDSM