F is for Fetish


Fetishes have been around forever and are a part of our psychology, often coming from very deep inside the psyche and impacted by social beliefs, moral ambiguity and mythology. While the medical establishment used to see them as abnormal, they are in fact perfectly safe and healthy so long as they are practised in a fully consensual and informed way.

From Roy Graff / Open Relating

The word fetish in the original Latin meant false. It referred to false idols that attracted reverence, something viewed with suspicion and mockery by 17th century Europeans in relation to mainly religious idols from Africa. The meaning evolved in the 20th century. Until recently, the field of psychology considered fetishism as abnormal perversion but this is changing as we learn more about human psychology and sexuality.

To have a fetish means to be aroused and hyper fixated by an object or body part that isn’t a part of the reproductive system. What society deems a fetish can change across time and culture.

About the author

Roy Graff draws inspiration from training in Psychosynthesis Psychotherapy, Radical Honesty, Non-violent Communication and Wheel of Consent training as well as Burning Man principles. He offers coaching and mentoring to individuals, couples and polycules. His services are inclusive and affirming of all gender, sexual orientations and relationship dynamics.
Website: https://openrelating.love
Instagram: @openrelating
Twitter: @openrelating
Facebook: openrelationg

Anything can be fetishised and probably is by someone. It may come from an early childhood association of the object with a pleasurable feeling. There is nothing wrong or shameful about a fetish that you might have, as long as it is done consensually. Fetishising inanimate objects does not require consent while anyone that is unable to consent is off limits.

Here is a rundown of just a few popular fetishes, some of which are further explained in other articles on our site.

Much of the shame that people hold around their fetishes is preventing them from being their full authentic self. Joyclub is a place of non-judgment where all of you is welcome. To those that judge others because they have different interests and fantasies, remember the saying:

YKINMK (Your Kink is Not My Kink), and that is ok!

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The Unseen Lounge | Torture Garden | The Windmill Theatre
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