Everything about cuckold & cuckolding

What is cuckolding? ⬝ Cuckolding roles ⬝ Types of cuckolding ⬝ Tips for cuckolding

Letting your own wife have sex with another man and even finding pleasure in it, watching or possibly taking part? "Yes please!", say JOYclub members who pursue cuckolding. Whether as a fantasy for the thrill in your head or as a lived-out desire: many couples enjoy cuckolding. We explain what's behind this erotic preference!

What is cuckolding?

The term cuckolding stems from the area of BDSM. Here, a man feels sexual desire and arousal when his partner has sex with other people. Cuckolding takes place within a committed partnership or love relationship and is one of the more extreme forms of open relationships. With mutual trust and the right communication, this play can strengthen the relationship and be a source of pleasure for the both of you.

What is a cuckold?

He, the cuckold, enjoys when his wife has sex with a stranger and he knows about it - either through a conversation afterwards or even because he is there and has to watch. The desire for the desired humiliation often begins as a fantasy about one's own inadequacies: For example, the cuckold finds the thought exciting that his penis may be too small or that he can't satisfy his partner.

Voyeurism can also play a role - the desire to watch his partner having sex from the outside.

What are mare and bull?

A third party comes into play: the well-stocked bull is the better lover and pleasures the mare who deliberately controls and humiliates her cuck. The cuckold is allowed to suffer lustfully and thus experience satisfaction.

Cuckolding is often found in the area of femdom: the woman is the dominant and driving force. She humiliates her submissive husband by sleeping with other men and enjoying it. By the way: If, in contrast, the woman enjoys watching her husband sleep with other women, she is called the cuckquean. The other lady who plays with her husband is the cuckcake.

The different types of cuckolding

From role play to impregnation: cuckolding is practiced in various forms.

Type 1:

Beginner cuckolding (C1) is often just a role play. The C1-Cuckold feels pleasure when he can share his wife with the other man and submit to him and his ideas. He usually takes an active part in the lovemaking. Since it remains a play, the cuckold's relationship with his partner does not change fundamentally.

Type 2:

Advanced cuckolding (C2) is characterized by the fact that the cuckold is sexually controlled by his partner. She has one or more steady lovers. He accepts this and no longer has any influence on his wife's sex life. It can even happen that the dominant woman leaves her partner sex-less for long periods of time.

Type 3:

In total cuckolding (C3), a stage is reached in which the woman alone has the say, both during sex and in everyday life. There no longer is any sexual contact between the two partners. He allows himself to be dominated to the maximum, even by his wife's lovers, and enjoys it. In some cases, the wife is deliberately impregnated by one of the lovers. In extreme cases, the cuckold even has his testicles surgically removed.

Cuckold, wife-sharing, swinging: What's the difference?

The typical cuckold behavior must not be confused with the practice of wife-sharing. Wife-sharing usually involves dominant men who want to control their partner and exercise power. Typical wife-sharers are not jealous, but unlike cuckolds, they do not want their partner to form an emotional bond with other men.

The confusion with the swinger mentality would be fundamentally wrong. Swingers live for the moment and derive pleasure from the momentary enjoyment of a situation. The couple constellations in swinging usually only exist for the duration of the lovemaking. Real cuckolding, on the other hand, is always long-term and only works in a committed relationship.

From role play to total dominance: cuckolding has many forms.

©Getty Images / nemke

Tips for cuckolding beginners

Do you get hot at the thought of your wife having sex with someone else? Do you want to experience the agonizing pleasure of watching? Then it's time to have a talk with your partner!

A good base

Becoming a cuckolding couple is similar to any other way of opening a relationship. You invite other people into your sex life or even into your relationship. This involves mutual respect and trust - also or especially because cuckolding involves playing with dominance and humiliation. Tell your partner about your needs and talk about your desires and fears. Establish clear rules on how you want to treat each other and third parties and what your boundaries are.

Shared imagination

Play with the idea of mare and cuckold together - for example, by telling her about past dates or imaginary situations in which she gives herself to someone else before or during sex. Imagine how you would feel and what would be hot about it. Play with verbal eroticism during sex: Your partner can complain loudly about how little you and your penis satisfy her.

And now for real

If you want more after playing with your imagination, then dive into the real cuckolding game. The JOYclub group landscape can help you make the right contacts.

Maybe you're already in a relationship that is non-monogamous. A regular play partner or an acquaintance from a swinger club could be a good candidate for the Bull. Approach people with whom you already have a trusting relationship.

Start slowly, for example with a massage or a passionate kiss between mare and bull, which the cuckold has to watch and endure. Feel your way forward bit by bit. And soon there will be nothing standing in the way of you and a fulfilling shared sex life in the cuckold scene!

Do you have any experience with cuckolding you'd like to share? Or in need of some advice? Head to the forum!